Divine Timing: Enlightenment is NOT in Your Hands
(A playful yet matter-of-fact message for the NPC monkeys
who think they can "do" their way into awakening.)
So You Want Enlightenment? That’s Adorable.
Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t get to choose.
You don’t get to “achieve” enlightenment by meditating extra hard,
eating just the right diet, or perfecting your downward dog pose.
You don’t get to “earn” it like a merit badge for being a good little seeker.
🔥 God will wake you up when God good and fucking feels like it. 🔥
If God feels like it at all.
That’s the truth. You are not in control.
So What Can You Do?
Nothing.
But also, everything.
You can’t force awakening, but you can be an interesting monkey.
And let’s be honest—God tends to play with the interesting ones.
Think about it. If you were the Divine, watching an infinite zoo of
NPCs running their little programs, who would you select for playtime?
The one droning through their spiritual checklist, checking boxes like a tax audit?
Or the wild card, the joyful, chaotic, unpredictable, ALIVE one?
💖 Hint: Be the interesting monkey. 💖
Not because it will “get” you enlightenment—but because life is just more fun that way.
You Can’t Hack This Game
There are no shortcuts, no cheat codes, no “spiritual fast passes.”
If you’re meant to wake up, you will.
If you’re not? Well, enjoy the dream.
Either way, quit trying so hard to impress God.
God isn’t looking for the most “dedicated” seeker.
God isn’t awarding points for the best posture or the deepest silence.
🔥 God is looking for the ones who burn.
🔥 The ones who play.
🔥 The ones who make this whole thing worth watching.
Final Thought: Just Live.
Instead of trying to be “spiritual,” try just being alive.
Laugh. Dance. Explore. Love. Screw up. Start again.
Be so wildly, unpredictably, beautifully YOU that if God is looking
for someone to wake up next—well, wouldn’t you be the obvious choice?
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